Rocks & Rainbows

Many who have suffered the loss of a child are familiar with the term ‘rainbow baby.’  A rainbow baby is one born after a loss–the rainbow after the storm, the promise of new hope.  So, what’s the rock in the title of this page?  A rock is a child born before a loss.  Not everyone is lucky enough to have a rock, but those of us who are know how important they are.  This page is to celebrate our rocks and our rainbows.

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These are my Rock and Rainbow, Ethan and Elanor.

Ethan was there at our very darkest times, someone to be the focus of all our attention.  When we had our first miscarriage, Ethan allowed us to enjoy Christmas in spite of our loss, because we had this adorable two-year-old to get us through.  When we had our third miscarriage, he was nearly three, old enough to realize that Mama and Dada were sad.  So, he did for us what we did for him when he was sad; he gave Mama lots of hugs, and he tried hard to make Dada laugh.  Today, Ethan is thirteen, and he is still there every time we need a hug or a laugh.

Elanor brought so much joy into our lives, not just with her own presence, but by allowing us to enjoy babies in general again.  Before our rainbow, all those cute TV commercials and billboards featuring babies still caused a jab of pain.  Now we can enjoy the cuteness again.  As she gets older, Elanor often wonders about the brothers and sisters who came before her and what they would be like.

We often say at Empty Arms that those of us who have had losses are blessed with extra special children to make up for it.  I certainly feel that way about mine.  If I had my wish, you would all be blessed with your own rocks and rainbows.

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